psycho bitch threw my ipod across a parking lot!

[Lukie45]

Kenny,

I'm fairly new to the forums so I haven't had a chance to read through many of your posts to get a true sense as to how deep your depression truly runs, but... based on this thread, I'd say that it is not a case of depression that you can just snap out of. My father was diagnosed with chemical depression (or something to that effect) to where it wasn't necessarily the events in his life causing it, but rather a chemical imbalance in your brain. He started taking medication and it controlled the seemingly completely random emotional outbursts. Like your episode at the end of the Clerks 2 credits, he too can just randomly start crying. He has no idea why... he just does. That is clearly not a "normal" thing, nor is it something that he wants. At one point we thought it was a case of bipolarism, but it turned out that a chemical deficiency in his brain was to blame. Now, since then, he's done some seriously stupid and fucked up shit, but my point is, you might want to talk to a doctor about getting tested for this sort of a chemical imbalance. Letting loose on the keyboard and using the forum boards as a pseudo-therapy is wonderful, but if it's chemical, it can only do so much... Just my $.02.

[kenny]

Originally Posted by Lukie45

Kenny,

I'm fairly new to the forums so I haven't had a chance to read through many of your posts to get a true sense as to how deep your depression truly runs, but... based on this thread, I'd say that it is not a case of depression that you can just snap out of. My father was diagnosed with chemical depression (or something to that effect) to where it wasn't necessarily the events in his life causing it, but rather a chemical imbalance in your brain. He started taking medication and it controlled the seemingly completely random emotional outbursts. Like your episode at the end of the Clerks 2 credits, he too can just randomly start crying. He has no idea why... he just does. That is clearly not a "normal" thing, nor is it something that he wants. At one point we thought it was a case of bipolarism, but it turned out that a chemical deficiency in his brain was to blame. Now, since then, he's done some seriously stupid and fucked up shit, but my point is, you might want to talk to a doctor about getting tested for this sort of a chemical imbalance. Letting loose on the keyboard and using the forum boards as a pseudo-therapy is wonderful, but if it's chemical, it can only do so much... Just my $.02.

Well aside from pseudo-internet-therapy I have actually been seeing a therapist for about two and a half months now and she too thinks that it might very well be a chemical imbalance. But she has agreed to treat me for a while, get to know me and help me work on my issues and then later on down the line we will revisit the idea of medication. I too think it might be chemical, because there is no rhyme or reason behind my episodes. One minute I will be fine, then the next my world is collapsing. I have been dealing with it my whole life and I do not mind it that much, as odd as it sounds but it makes it really difficult for any relationship that I enter. All of my ex's have issues with it, most of which are them thinking that they are doing something wrong and/or them wanting to fix me. So I guess I want to fix it, one day I wouldn’t mind having someone in my life, and currently this proves impossible because no one wants to put up with a lunatic. If you care to share some of the "seriously stupid and fucked up shit" I would be curious to know what that consists of. If it's personal you can message me privately or drop me an e-mail.