Fantasy, drugs and the reproduction of human's.

[kenny]

The talk, that dreaded little bit of communication that I feared. My son turned eight in May and recently he asked his mother a question which puzzled him. "Mom, why is my penis getting big and then going smaller?", "Ask your dad." She replied. This was later followed by a phone call, informing me of the situation. I have been putting it off for the last month so I decided this weekend, while he is over, we'll shall talk and we shall cover three bases.

I could be the typical American parent and let him hurt (or even worse - kill) someone and then sue some video game company because I failed as a parent or I could just shoot straight. He likes video games likes most boys his age, but he needs to understand the difference between reality and fantasy. I have been taking him to see Marty in the hospital, to help with this. I want him to understand that while video games let you wreck cars, run over people, and even shoot and kill them, that these are to not be confused with what is really happening in the world in which are surrounded. Sure it can, but there are real consequences along with real pain. And then there is the drugs. Well that was a simple don't mess with them. This can be revisited in the future when he is closer to the actual "go out and party" phase. But right now, he is too young so he just needs to steer clear of them, and fuck those little bastards that you are hanging out with. Since they are picking up used cigarette butts and trying to smoke them. Which some of his friends are doing, I learned with our conversation. To that I just simply said who knows whose lips or mouth touched that, that's just gross. It's funny because he asked me tonight if he sees me smoking, should he knock the cigarette out of my mouth and put it out. I told him no, it is bad and I need to stop - but no. Tomorrow when he wakes up I am going to tell him to ignore that. He should knock it out of my mouth. After all, I do need to stop and the love of my life wanted me to stop, but I was too stupid to pay attention. These people just care and who am I to shit on their love? And finally "the talk" and I sit here laughing whilst I type. Hours after our talk Nicki, Marty's wife was over so that I could do some work/customization on her new laptop. He came up to me and rested his little hands on my shoulder and said, "Dad, that talk was awesome - where you talked about the man putting his penis in the woman.", I couldn't help but giggle myself. I explained puberty, and why his penis was getting "big and then small", I explained how he and kids in general were made and I let him know that most importantly - he could talk to me about anything, especially if he had any questions about all of the above. All in all I think it went quite well, a little awkward but still. it was excellent. I just want him to grow up without my issues, without my insecurities, without my lack of love. Sure I was loved, but differently. I want him to be at peace with himself, at peace with the world around him, and I want him to know that it is good to communicate and that it is wonderful to show and display affection. I don't want him to see anything but love, I never want him to be exposed to that in which I was as a kid. I don't ever want him to see his mom beat till she bleeds, or thrown down steps. I don't ever want him to see me raise my fists in anger our lash out with my tongue. I don't want him to be struck with various objects or abused, such as warming boards, tree branches or boiling water. I just want him to live and breathe love. And the only way this can be achieved is by communication and actions. This means a lot of talking, a lot of hugs, kisses, snuggles and attention. And if all works out and I am in my sixty's I want to look at him and be able to think, that is one hell of young man in front of me - and I shall.

Life is odd, for me it took another major change for me to take heed to my surroundings. How can I be so blind, how could I have been so ignorant? And oddly enough I answered all of my own questions - just a bit too late. Being alone used to be a bad thing for me, I would drag myself down and through the dirt. But now it is different. I don't see my problems as short comings that I have been doomed with, instead I view them as a fixable situation. Sure it is going to take some work, it's like I am trying to rekindle my childhood but that has its own time and place. This is the real world and there is nothing out there for you unless you make it happen.

Well that is it for me. While some of you are out partying, having drinks and hooking up with some random stranger (don't get me wrong this too has its time and place), I am sitting here; smoking a clove, sipping on a rum and coke enjoying my calm back yard, watching the sky, listening to the crickets and the light traffic off in the distance. Completely calm, nearly content and I wouldn't trade it for the world. The whole party scene has its place, but that like the people fade with time and all you are left with is what you have made and done with yourself.

I will be back tomorrow with some updated visual content, have a good night and as always thanks for stopping in and showing your support.

[Yenn]

This is the most amazing thing that I have read that you have written

<3

I'm not sure why but this post made me think back to December when we sat in the back of your house and talked about Hunter Thompson-

and it made me smile.....a big dopey retarded smile

[kenny]

Just the rum talking...

[Yenn]

Originally Posted by kenny

Just the rum talking...

sad

[rudeboy]

That was a cool thing to share. Thanks man.

[digital801]

I just caught my 5 year old in his room looking at one of my playboys last night, guess my time for "the talk" is just right around the corner, and to hide the adult material better.