... Some of us like to call it... The Freakshow.

[idbeholda]

No shit. I can now expect more and more of my paycheck to go for gas in the car than I can for it going to much-needed-to-be-paid bills. Thanks, you assholes.

A man takes a Modest Proposal too far. He should have used a cast iron pot over a bonfire.

I don't believe this is a horn. Some historian will look back and confirm that I was the first person ever to use the phrase "cutaneous phallunitis" in describing this phenomenon.

Expect an uprising of angry conservatives in the near future.

More news to come...

[idbeholda]

If you don't understand that simple concept, you probably shouldn't be presiding over the case.

One day, on Planet JX3778B Subclass F, a man lights a cigarette after leaving from work. After its long journey, the light released from the resulting explosion is mistaken for a supernova. Long live the technocracy.

Solution: Introduce genetically engineered algae like I proposed in an earlier solution. Result: Mutated lifeforms will arise that will no doubt put an end to "The Human Element".

Solution: Taser him, and put an end to his sexual identity crisis. Result: Frivolous litigation will transpire.

Some of you will undoubtedly ask "who does he think he is?" I have but one answer... Batman.

They forgot to mention the subsequent tear stains on her uniform.

I see another type of "chain gang" forming altogether, if you catch my drift.

Yes, god forbid we have a little controversy, common sense, and truth in politics.

Oh, the travesty. [/sarcasm]

Another modest proposal taken too far. In this case, he should have used a blender, so he could have a Hannibal Smoothie.

The punishment doesn't fit the crime. I suggest death by the electric chair.

There's only one punishment to fit this crime. Shoot the child full of bullet holes to make sure he understands that this kind of thing is unacceptable.

185 deaths in 4 years. In response to this, I link the following article...

Evidence that we're wasting time, effort, and money. Approximately 150 people die per year from being hit by falling coconuts. You're still more likely to be the victim of an unprovoked shark attack than you are to catch the bird flu.

I'm not even sure what to say about this one. The hilarity is self-evident.

But this on the other hand... is one of the many reasons I am not an organ donor. Less organs for them, more news articles for me.