As if the previous posting of news wasn't bizzare enough...

[idbeholda]

Here's some news articles that will make you gaze with awe at the reaches of human stupidity. Incidentally, the upper limit of that function happens to be infinity.

Not to worry though, the robotic bombsniffer fell in love with the device. As love was forged between the two up-until-that-point-inanimate objects, the car itself was turned on by such an unlikely pair that it kickstarted the radio to play a smarmy, smooth jazz version of "I Left My Heart In San Fransisco". The wedding date is expected to be announced soon.

Unfortunately, another incident transpired that left one wal-mart employee tearfully distraught, and a box of legos sexually dissatisfied. It is believed this potential three way between the employee, the box of legos, and a seven year old girl was rudely interrupted by her bicycle who felt that it hadn't been given its "fair slice of manpie".

And speaking of pies, it seems a surprising trend is on the rise involving man-on-carcass relationships. In this case, the man involved definitely found necrophilia to be dead sexy.

Coming up next, one researcher finds a shocking correlation between sexually transmitted diseases and household appliances.

[idbeholda]

This seems to stem from the finest child-rearing practices, no questions asked.

... And this is why you ask for ice in your drink, and not file a frivolous lawsuit like a dumbass.

This reminds me of so many urban legends.

Not to worry though, he'll always have your daughter's best interest in mind. After all, theocracy and papism worked so well the first time around, didn't it?

And this is one reason why I should be given The Red Button. Immediate nuclear winter will stop everything dead in its tracks.

We do, however, have this to look forward to.

To me, it sounds like picking the flu itself would be a much safer bet.

Tomorrow's Foreskin: Partly cloudy with a high chance of golden showers in the late evening.

???

[Teep]

Originally Posted by idbeholda

To me, it sounds like picking the flu itself would be a much safer bet.

Heh. Sounds like the perfect horror-flick scenario. And a realistic one at that. First an outbreak of H5N1 (insert rant on how mankind has itself to blame, for mistreating animals/nature/the environment). Governments panic and force everybody to take Tamiflu. The entire world population turns into a crazed delusional herde of suicidal maniacs. A young girl cries out: "It's the medicine! It's the medicine that makes everybody go bonkers!" but nobody listens. Then everybody dies. The end.