4th Of July Assplosion of Terror

[idbeholda]

Aside from personal fireworks that happened to go off during the weekend (no, it didn't involve my initially planned 20 foot flaming balls of propane, but it did involve *MY* balls, both parts which we won't get into... yet), it would appear that the joys, fun, drama, and celebration of the holiday season is *STILL* not enough to keep people from doing stupid things.

Apparently, burning your ex's 5 year old is now the rage these days. And by the looks of it, so is rampant stupidity.

What do get when you mix a shallow gene pool, fireworks, somebody's ass, and a headline that sounds almost like the victim had an orgasm? Florida. I don't make this shit up, seriously.

And in Australia, it appears we have an aspiring Hannibal Lector. I hope to hell that she at least had the decency to serve up his liver with a side of Chianti and Fava Beans *sizzleslurp*.

And this is another reason our justice system fails under any sort of scrutiny.

*cackles* Like we care that they complain over piracy stemming from shitty pop music? Neither should China.

What's the big fucking deal? The way I look at it, if the machine says they won, they goddamn won. Period.

Umz.... o.0? Something about this just doesn't add up. It's bad enough I discovered he did indeed sing love songs in German.

It makes you wonder how many horny, lonely, myspace teenagers were secretly fapping. Just the fact my brain came up with that scares the ever-living piss out of me.

More news to come, and a random link. It seems fitting enough.

[XarsonX]

The comments on the firecracker story are amazing

"When I was a kid we used to have firework wars. Shooting bottle rockets at one another was great fun. Of course we were taught to drop and roll if we caught fire. I blame the liberal education system for not teaching basic fire safety. (I?ll bet the kid had a skool-supplied condom in his other pocket)"

[spacegecko]

Condoms make great waterballoons. Just don't try and throw one too far if it's covered in spermacide cuz those are some slippery bastards.

[idbeholda]

Originally Posted by spacegecko

Condoms make great waterballoons. Just don't try and throw one too far if it's covered in spermacide cuz those are some slippery bastards.

Back when I was in college, I filled a condom with dishsoap, shredded newspaper, honey, and M&M. I decided to stick it in a random dryer. It never broke, but it swelled up to about the size of my leg. It looked kinda creepy, like some weird, bloated hot dog.

[cold]

picture?

[Teep]

Originally Posted by cold

picture?

you sick perv!

[spacegecko]

Originally Posted by idbeholda

Back when I was in college, I filled a condom with dishsoap, shredded newspaper, honey, and M&M. I decided to stick it in a random dryer. It never broke, but it swelled up to about the size of my leg. It looked kinda creepy, like some weird, bloated hot dog.

You're my hero. You can come over my house and eat my food.