Brutal honesty?

[kenny]

Bios (and Lizzie) & Muti (and Jen), I want to thank you for the help in getting the new site/look up. There is still a lot of new stuff coming everyone’s way, but this is a lot better than seeing a maintenance page, Right? Over the next few months you should start seeing the site evolve quite a bit, but for now – take a look around - if you see broken shit, let me know. And to all of those that hoped, or thought we were going away… yeah right. As much as I despise this site at times I could never let it die. In 10 years I have received a lot of feedback, hate mail and even death threats, but one message sticks out. A person who wrote saying how shitty their life is at times and how they look forward to the site everyday. It gives them a break from this mess called life. And that to me is enough of a reason for me to continue until I collapse. Something a lot of people cannot grasp or appreciate, instead they are stuck in the mindset that we are a vile bunch; we’ve been called pornographers, vandals, childish, bad seeds, “a world class troublemaker” and the list goes on. But these are the people who don’t understand, so fuck `em. We are just us, and they are just jealous because they can’t be themselves. It’s ok though, you can be saved. Judge others on only how they treat you and quit worrying about everyone else’s personal lives, and enjoy your own. We are here to entertain, we are here to talk to people, and we are here to make a difference. What drives your projects and/or life? Is it money or love? What drives your thoughts? Are they even your own anymore? Do you even know who you really are? Do you even know who I really am? I could tell you I guess.

I am kenny, I gave this thing called sobriety a chance but all it did was kill my sex drive and make my life boring. I think we are put here for a reason, mine is to push it to the limit, make a few people think and make a few people smile. I have these weird dreams that scare me; I am a child in a crib and a crane emerges from the sky and it scoops me from my caged bed. It then rises in to the clouds and releases me. The fall to the ground seems to take an eternity and the moment my infant skull makes impact I awake in a fetal position – sucking my thumb. These dreams carry messages that continue to come true, how’s that for fucked? I have not only lost my mind but I continue losing those that I love and I sit here, listening to the new NoFX album with a smile. I have a cute and amazing son who kicks ass, and it scares me. He act’s the same way I do and he’s only in first grade (and already in to trouble). I worry way too much, and I over analyze everything. I push most everyone away, but yet I crave to have them close. From now on all I can do is be brutally honest, no matter how bad it makes my stomach hurt, after all I have a world to change and I can’t do it in the land of make-believe. I guess I look at it this way, if I admit to all of my faults, all of my fears and insecurities, what does this leave people to attack with? They have nothing, nothing that everyone doesn’t already no. And I can concentrate on being the superb fuckup that I was born to be.

Here are this weeks digiCam project photos, a bit late but hey – we’ve been busy. Also since this weekend (April 21st – 23rd) is the 3rd annual StupidCon, which is a weekend of binge drinking in Denver I figured, I would get the previous years back online. Here are the photographs from StupidCon 2004 and StupidCon 2005. Denver here we come. Last but not least, the photographs from are 10 year anniversary party (NWS) are back online and they are not work safe.

Enjoy the new layout, and once again. Thanks Bios and Muti for all of you help and I thank your women for sharing you with the rest of the world so that we could get this site hammered out and up for everyone in the limited time that we have had to work on it.

Oh, and I lied, there is a lot more than one reason as to why I keep this site going… today after I thanked Bios for the new layout (and I hope you don’t get mad for me posting this) he replied back with the following:

09:21 (bios) not to be too lame.. but thank you for hektik.. It's been something I've always looked up to since I've been here and I was proud to be a part of it

Damn, how can that not make you feel good? And when I was going through my private messages on the forums, I saw some that were sent during times when I posted what seemed like dark dismal posts of doom and people took the time to send me their home and cellular phone numbers, letting me know that if I ever needed to talk I could call them. People all over this country who have never meant me, inviting me in to their lives, taking it from a level of just some stupid website to a large family of friends. Yeah, how could I let something so amazing die? Anyhow, thanks to everyone for their continuous support and pass the word along… “We’re back!”

[bios]

Any time kenny, it was my privilege to be a part of hektik. Thank you for keeping it going. Oh, I would also like to thank licyeus for helping as well. He was the css ninja i went to when I was stuck. He helped me out a ton.

[Kansas]

Nice pictures this week. Bet you never thought that lady bugs would make sweet love on your knuckles. Is this the new direction of hektik? Insect pr0n.

[kenny]

Originally Posted by Kansas

Nice pictures this week. Bet you never thought that lady bugs would make sweet love on your knuckles. Is this the new direction of hektik? Insect pr0n.

Thank you, as for the new direction - insect porn is an untapped internet goldmine, so yes!

[dorkiz]

Bout time the site is back up again. I had nothing to read while I was at work the last two days.


Hooray for hektik and the new layout!

Only thing I don't like about the new layout, is in the picture album, if it's more than one page you can't specify a page number, unless it's been updated since I looked last.

[james]

Kenny, the new layout looks wonderful.
I think it captures the spirit of hektik.org perfectly.